If you missed any of the story so far, here is a quick recap of the My Cancer Journey series: Part 1, Part 2 and Part 3.
Hi, and welcome back to Life Captured. The featured image for this post represents so much of what I felt during my cancer journey. I often said, “I’m grateful for my cancer.” That is completely true, though you’re probably wondering how anyone could ever think such a thing.
The Gratitude
The number one reason for my gratitude? It gave me back precious time with my children. Both of my kids were in daycare starting at just six weeks old, and those early years are time I can never get back. But during my journey, I was able to spend every single afternoon with them at their school activities. My son Adam’s wrestling coach even allowed me to ride the bus to all of the team’s meets. I took photos of the boys during their matches and became the official team photographer, with many of my pictures even making it into the school yearbook.
For my entire working career, I had been in retail of one kind or another. Working evenings, weekends, and holidays had gotten really old and exhausting. When the decision was made to sell the store and the deal was finalized, I was finally free to try something new. Thanks to my husband, I had the flexibility to look for part-time work.
I went to a temporary employment agency and applied for an office job; specifically looking for regular 8-to-5 hours with no weekends and no holidays. I took a typing test alongside skills tests for Microsoft Word and Excel, proving I was proficient in all three. The temp agency hired me and placed me in a part-time position, Monday through Friday from 8:00 a.m. to noon, as a receptionist for a cargo control equipment manufacturer. It was the perfect schedule, giving me the exact freedom I needed to attend all of my kids’ activities.
The Remission & Cure
Part 3 ended on a high note with me officially reaching remission. From then on, I shifted to follow-up care, visiting my oncologist every six months. My first checkup included a CT scan, and the next one called for a PET scan. This routine we repeated through my second year of remission. Of course, those scans meant getting another IV. I made sure to stick to my firm rule: two pricks max, or it was time to call in someone new to do it!
After the second year, my oncologist officially released me to the care of my primary care physician, Dr. Allen. From there, Dr. Allen monitored me with an annual chest X-ray, and it was also around this time that my bone density was checked for the first time. After two years in her care, she scheduled another PET scan just to be thorough. The longer I went without any recurrence, the closer I drew to that magic word: “cured.”
Finally, after five full years with no sign of cancer, I was declared cured! What an absolute relief. This chapter of my journey had finally come to an end. It’s something I will never forget, and even though that quiet worry was always lurking in the back of my mind, I had made it.
Side Affects
Over the five years after finishing chemo and radiation, I dealt with a few lingering side effects.
- Chemo Brain – it was necessary to use sticky notes for everything. Using a calendar was a must.
- Hair color – came in a different color. Really dark and curly.
- Toe nails – on both feet, the biggest toe, the nail came off.
- Fatigue – this took about 2 years to finally reach a non tired state, physically and mental.
- Infertility – this was no issue. We were finished having babies anyways.
Friends & Questions
Friends and neighbors genuinely want to support you when they say, “Let me know if you need anything”. So take them up on it! Start keeping a running list. When you’re going through treatments (and during recovery), the fatigue is real, and even simple tasks can feel overwhelming. Having a list ready means that whenever someone asks how they can lend a hand, you’ll know exactly what to tell them. Here are a few examples to get you started:
- Pick up the kids and bring them home. (from school, a friends house. summer activities)
- Pick up a gallon of milk, eggs or sugar.
- Prepaid phone card for hospital. Cells phones are supposed to be turned off. If long distance calls need to be made, you can use the prepaid card to make the call.
- Prepared meals that can be popped into the oven.
- Send card of encouragement through the regular mail. (this is for the person who wants to help during the chemo and radiation treatments)
- Prayers.
- Help drive to appointments.
- Take trash cans to end of driveway or back up to the house.
- Add any small or larger request. The worst that can happen, they say no and that most likely will not happen.
I often say, “I’m grateful for my cancer.” That remains completely true today, even if it seems like an impossible thing to say. Looking back on everything this journey brought into my life, including the extra time with my children, the kindness of friends, and a whole new perspective, I wouldn’t change where I ended up.
If you have any questions I haven’t covered here, or if there’s anything you’d like me to clarify, please feel free to send an email or use the contact form. I truly consider myself an open book when it comes to my journey, and I’m always happy to share, connect, and help in any way I can.
Yesterday is today’s memory.
Be sure to capture your memory today!
All the best,.
Debra Ellen
Don’t miss a frame. Subscribe for more life, captured.
That is brilliant that there were positives from your cancer diagnosis and how great you could spend more time with your kids. I can’t imagine the relief you felt when you got the all clear.
Hi, Kim. Yes, relief but always lurking in the back of my mind, the thought of now lung or breast cancer. What saved me before could now be the cause for another fight for life.
Thank you for stopping by to visit.
All the best.
Those are great examples of real life help to give/ask for. I often struggle with that in the moment.
People do want to help. I actually never even gave this a thought at the time. A friend gave me a calling card. The hospital I went to for treatments was in another town. To call my house or my husband, it was long distance. Cells phones at that time needed to be off. After going through the cancer, several other people I knew had been diagnosed with the big ‘C’. This is when I came up with the list for them to start jotting down for those who do want to help.
I know so many women currently going through this very situation. I am hopeful and pray for them to have the doctor say that wonderful word, “Cured.” I can tell you are the eternal optimist…finding the good in everything. That’s a wonderful trait, and I’m so glad to have found another of us! I didn’t know about your toe nails, though! My husband pierced my big toe during an outdoor DIY (total accident). After it fell off, I went to the nail salon and had them put an acrylic nail on until it grew back. It was just too tender not to have something covering up the nail bed. Did you experience anything like that?
https://marshainthemiddle.com/
No, it was not tender. It may have been because of the treatments. Not sudden.
My outlook is, why not make the best of a situation. If I don’t, then it can only be worse. Thank you for your kind words.It’s nice knowing other’s (you) feel as I do!
All the best.
That is so beautiful and hopeful Debra. It’s good to know good things can come from things we consider bad.
Thank you, Nicole.
Such an uplifting conclusion to your journey, Debra. I love how you’ve found gratitude and meaning in such a difficult experience.
Thank you, Lisa.
All the best.
What a beautiful, inspiring post, Debra. It’s a privilege to follow along with your story and see how you’ve come out the other side. Sending you all the best!
Thank you!
What a journey you’ve been through, Debra. I really liked reading about the positives that came out of such a difficult time, especially all that extra time with your children. Being told you were finally cured after five years must have been the best feeling! So happy for you.
Thank you Jayne!