Getting Older

They say wisdom comes with age, but it usually brings a few unexpected habits along for the ride. What started as a personal observation in a doctor’s waiting room has turned into a full-blown investigation! I’ve gathered my own ‘aha’ moments and combined them with the brilliant insights you’ve shared in the comments. From the shoes we wear to the way we groan when we sit down, here is the ultimate list of You Know When You Are Getting Older.

The Master List: You Know You’re Getting Older When…

• You pull a muscle just reaching for the remote. And brag about finding a good parking spot like it’s a gold medal.
• your doctor is younger than you. The ‘Doogie Howser’ effect. You find yourself resisting the urge to ask them if their parents know they’re out this late.
• you can’t stand up on your own two feet.
• your coworker’s are younger than you.
• knowing your whole body hurts.
• people start calling you ma’am instead of miss. The Respect Trap. They think they’re being polite and “well-raised,” but to you, it sounds like they’re handing you a Social Security check and a sturdy pair of mall-walking shoes.
• going down stairs you need to hang onto the hand rail or loose your balance. The ‘Slinky’ Fear. You have a brief, terrifying vision of yourself tumbling down like a human Slinky,
• you have to cross your legs when you sneeze. The “Sneeze-Cross-Clench” maneuver. 
• a ‘date’ consists of hitting the grocery store and you find more romance in picking out the perfect produce than in a loud, crowded bar.
• pulled a muscle putting laundry away.
• wrenching your back reaching for the toilet paper.
• you look out the window and realize everyone (including yourself) has officially retired their heels for flat soles. An official member of the ‘Flat Shoe Club’.
• you walk into a room with absolute purpose, only to stand there wondering what on earth you came in for.
• you start taking an interest in birds. There are stages to getting older. Stage 1: Buying a bird feeder. Stage 2: Taking 45 identical photos of a blue jay. Stage 3: Realizing you have a favorite bird, and it’s a specific robin named Gary. 🙂